How is Self-Love the Key to Loving Others?

The Sequence of Love

I once came across a sequence of love that stated:

Now, I finally understand why loving oneself must come before truly loving others, and why genuine love is so rare in this world.

Only by loving oneself can one learn how to love—extending that understanding to others, empathizing with their feelings. One would not use love as an excuse to harm another. Instead, one would cherish the other as one cherishes oneself, sometimes even more deeply. It becomes about respect, not comparison.

The Sources of Love

There is no love without a source. Most parents love their children, and through that love, children receive care, recognition, and affirmation. With this continuous flow of love from their parents, children gain the courage to face an uncertain world and develop the capacity to love themselves.

Perhaps this unceasing love doesn't only come from parents—it also comes from everyone around them who treats them with kindness. This is love from the outside. And of course, there is also love from within—the innate will to live, which is likely the very core.

When External Love is Cut Off

But what if this external love is cut off? Or what if one can no longer feel loved? Instinctively, we quickly sense the danger from the outside. If we are weak in that moment, and unable to receive enough love to protect ourselves, we enter self-preservation mode.

What little love remains is used to shield ourselves—how could there be any left to love others? Naturally, this also narrows the paths through which we might receive love from others.

The Challenge of Self-Love

Who in this world doesn't love themselves? Yet many simply don't know how to love themselves well. It's not that they don't know what love is—it's that they lack the ability to love themselves. Many feel unloved.

Because they have not been loved, they do not know what love is. How, then, can they love others? Most of their energy is spent on self-preservation. And who can blame them? It's born out of helplessness.

From Self-Protection to Self-Empowerment

Why do we only know how to protect ourselves, but not how to save ourselves? If we were strong enough that the world could not harm us, why would we need to wrap ourselves in self-protection?

Only when we have the capacity to love can we overflow with enough love to share with others—and only then can we truly be loved.

The Price of Everything

What's scarce in this world is not the absence of love, but the presence of weak individuals who haven't striven to become stronger. Yet human nature tends toward comfort. So, in a way, God is fair.

Everything in this world has a price—and yet is priceless. Everything is exchanged in some form. If you want something, you must see if you possess the capital to exchange for it.

Building Your Capacity to Love

The journey from self-protection to self-love is not about becoming selfish—it's about becoming strong enough to truly care for yourself and others. When you develop genuine self-love, you create a foundation that allows you to:

• Empathize deeply with others because you understand your own emotional needs
• Set healthy boundaries that protect both yourself and your relationships
• Give love freely without depleting your own reserves
• Receive love openly because you believe you deserve it
• Build resilience that allows you to face the world's challenges

Self-love is not a destination but a continuous practice. It requires courage to examine yourself honestly, strength to work on your weaknesses, and wisdom to appreciate your strengths.

Conclusion

Self-love is the key to loving others because it is the source from which all genuine love flows. When you truly love yourself, you understand what love is—not as a concept, but as a lived experience. This understanding becomes the foundation for how you love others.

The world needs more people who know how to love—and that starts with individuals who have learned to love themselves. Your life is your greatest treasure. Use it to build the strength to love yourself, and watch as that love naturally extends to everyone around you.